Criticism, has it ever invaded your life or someone you love? Personally, I don’t think anyone has ever been totally immune but there are those who seem to thrive on it. I’m not talking about the occasional criticism that is justifiably needed although I suppose that most everyone seems to think their criticism is justifiable. That is why it seems to stick around so well.
In reality, most criticism would disappear if we all asked ourselves this question. “What eternal significance does this situation have?” After all, what eternal significance does it have if some one doesn’t hang the bathroom towel up exactly straight? … or accidentally spills something? … or the toothpaste tube gets squeezed in the middle?… or someone occasionally fails to make their bed?… or fails to say “please?”… the list is simply too long to continue.
But probably the worst place of all for criticism is within our own four walls. It is so easy to pick out the faults of others and dwell on them. Granted, there are always faults that need to be corrected but how do we go about it? Is it with those condemnatory statements like … You always… You never… You should… You shouldn’t have… or with voice tones more like a scream than normal.
Far too often the attitude that is expressed is one of superiority or pride which comes from an attitude of “I’m better than you are or I would never do that or you disgust me.” In reality, the tone of our voice conveys our attitude even more than our words. We may say the same words on occasion with a totally different attitude but the hearer understands what we mean just by the tone of our voice and the emphasis on certain words. Try saying this sentence with different voice inflections. “You need to go hang up your towel.” Now say it without raising your voice and without any particular condemnatory emphasis on any word.
Criticism more often than not conveys arrogance, pride, superiority, disdain, disapproval, condemnation, and blame. People who own a critical spirit are graceless people. There is no room for anyone else’s opinion or action different from what they approve.
I’ve often wondered why it is so easy to fall into the habit of criticizing others. I guess it is because it is a very efficient tool of Satan so he whispers it into our spirit so that we will cause others to be discouraged or feel worthless. Oh, yes, his ideas become our words. That often becomes the reason others cannot hold up their head. And more often than not it is not what we say as much as the voice tones we use to convey it.
Criticism may be very constructive if given in the right spirit. If we truly desire to see another change and grow as an individual it will come across in our voice tones. A simple prayer after instruction is also helpful and then with a hug and a smile even the sting of our remarks will be received because it was done with grace.
Willetta is the mother of six and the grandmother of nineteen and great-grandmother to nine… at present. My relationship with the Lord Jesus and experience has taught me many concepts. Please visit my sites at http://www.successwithkids.org/ and http://www.teachmethyways.org/ for helpful spiritual encouragement and instruction, parenting tips, devotionals, and some fun. Free reprint.