Babies spend an enormous amount of time sleeping during their first year: almost all of it. The clever scientists tell us that babies spend 50-80% of that time dreaming – and who knows what they dream about – maybe milk and gooey cuddles?
If you watch their tiny eyelids you can see the rapid twitchy eye movements and sometimes there are jerky movements of arms or legs. These are indications of the dream state. It’s a good idea not to startle the baby awake at these times, or they may get cranky.
If baby sleeps well, there will be a much happier household: Baby will thrive, and so will Mum and Dad, who won’t be so filled with anxiety and guilt at their perceived lack of baby management skills. So, how do you keep your precious bundle safe and feeling secure for all that time? And what happens if baby doesn’t sleep as readily as the books say that he should?
From the very beginning, right at the top of the TO DO LIST is Developing Good Sleeping Habits for Baby. For the first three months, babies tend to sleep for 2-3 hour periods, waking mostly for feeds, then they sleep for a longer period at night, but probably only 4-6 hours if you’re lucky.
During the day, when baby is awake after a feed, it’s a good time to introduce play, but at night, it’s always quiet time between feeds. After three months, there begins to be more sleep through the night, and less during the day. By twelve months, babies still sleep 12-14 hours a day, but it is mostly at night, with just 1-2 naps through the day. Babies will, in the end, make up their own minds about what the routine is.
Leading up to sleep time, there needs to be a routine, so that Baby can learn when it is time to settle. You want Baby awake but starting to drowse, so falling asleep is the natural conclusion. Then, when Baby wakes during sleep, it will be easier to return to sleep. So, start to slow things down, with massage, cuddles, bath or feed, so there is a real transition between play and sleep. Make sure Baby has had a feed, and has a clean nappy. Put on some gentle music, always the same or similar, as many babies will find it calming and it then forms part of the sleep routine. Put Baby down, on the back, with head to one side, this having been found to be the safest sleeping position. Tuck Baby in firmly, with feet at the lower end of the cot.
A short while should then be spent patting and murmuring gentle and calming words before quietly leaving the room. If Baby cries, depending on the nature of the crying, wait up to 3 minutes. Return to the room, gently pat, stroke or rock the Baby to comfort and calm. Leave the room again. Always pay really close attention to the nature of the baby’s crying to see if you can detect any signs of slowing and calming.
If after a few cycles Baby still has not settled, lift him into your arms to calm him. Then once again, place him back into the cot, and start the 3 minute coming and going again. Continue the coming and going at three minute intervals for up to 45 minutes. Stay very calm and unhurried as you do this, always returning and offering comfort, and gradually Baby will feel secure, and accept the arrangement.
If the crying does not stop after 45 minutes, then you may want to add some more heavy duty relaxation such as a massage, a walk, a pram ride or even a car ride. If feed time is coming up, do that before re-trying the sleep routine from the beginning. If you know that it’s normal to take all of this time to get Baby to sleep sometimes, you won’t get anxious about it. Staying calm yourself is really important, because Baby won’t be calm if you are not. Try not to get too stressed. Think of this time as a brand new experience for both of you. Baby has as much learning to do as you have, so take it easy. Enjoy this wondrous new addition to your life.
Sue Waterworth is a Massage Therapist and sometime Midwife who knows a thing or two about babies. Baby Linens are now her specialty Baby Linens
